Losing You
by SparkInYourEye
Summary: Alan Tracy, the youngest in the Tracy family, yearns for attention from his father and brothers. Well…in a different way to how he already gets it. His brothers are constantly teasing him and he's always being told off by his father. Will a tragedy cause the older Tracy's to realise just how precious young Alan is, or will they continue to refuse to acknowledge his presence?
1. Prologue - A Pitiful Cry

**Gordon's POV**

Alan's crying again – I swear that baby never shut's up. As usual daddy or Scott run to the nursery to try and calm him down and, like always, around half an hour he'll be fast asleep in their arms.

I hate Alan. He took daddy's and my brothers' attention from me and drew it, like a magnet, towards him. He also took mummy away – I mean, it probably wasn't really his fault as, when mummy died, Alan had only just learnt how to cry and breathe seconds after he was born. But looking at him is always a painful reminder that mummy's gone forever.

Right now I'm in John's room along with him and Virgil, as well as Scott, up until he ran out to go to the nursery. John is my 14 year old brother and Virgil is 12; Scott's 15 years old and I'm the youngest at 9…_was_ the youngest at 9. But now Alan's in the family and is only a few weeks old and, already, has stolen all the people I love.

"John…can you come and give me a hand?" Scott shouts, most likely from the nursery. John leaves us to help Scott with Alan.

"Vi-Vi-Virgil, could y-you g-g-give me a h-h-h-hand with some of m-my equi-equip-tools?" Brains asks my third older brother, as he pokes his head into the room. Virgil nods his head and – after apologising, saying we'll play cards later…he leaves too.

I sigh in annoyance and defeat and leave the room, throwing the cards everywhere on my way out. I can feel tears in my eyes and they begin to run down my face as I make my way to the nursery to see what the commotion is about this time. As I get closer to my destination, I see Virgil walking into the room after helping Brains. More tears well up at the thought that he forgot about me and made no hesitation to go straight to Alan as soon as he's free.

Now standing, nervously, outside the door, I peek in and see Scott, John and Virgil in there smiling and playing with baby Alan. I then sniffle a little too loudly, and my brothers hear me and turn to face me, apart from Alan who's busy with playing with the shiny buttons on Scott's shirt. They all look at me shocked to see me crying, but Scott quickly smiles his normal warm and cheeky smile at me. I can't help but beam in happiness that I've finally been noticed as I lightly smile back at my big brother.

"You coming in, Gord?" Scott asks as he motions me towards them, still carefully holding Alan on his lap. I nod my head forcefully and slowly walk into the room. I end up standing in-between Vigil, who's sat on the sofa, and John, who's crouched on the floor, and right in front of Scott, who's now concentrating on holding a now squirming Alan.

"Would you like to hold him?" John's question catches me off guard and all I can do is mutter a few words in a way that make absolutely no sense whatsoever. "Come on…Sit down in-between Virg and Scott and hold him on your lap." He encourages me with a grin. I do as he says and, as soon as I'm sat down, Scott carefully passes me the playful bundle, telling me where to put my hands so both me and the baby are comfortable, but also so I don't let Alan fall off my lap.

"There you go." Scott praises me.

"You've got it, kid." John comments.

"See…he likes you already." Virgil says as Alan laughs a cute baby laugh and reaches up to touch my face.

"Hello Alan." I say, "My name's Gordon and I am your big brother. I get the responsibility of teasing you and making fun of you like our big brothers have always done to me. But now I have you to love and protect as well and I promise I'll always keep you safe. You're the baby brother in the family now and your big brothers will always be here for you." I feel proud at my sudden change of heart towards my baby brother. I feel happy that I no longer hate a member of our family. I hope I'm making mum proud of me.

Just then I see daddy standing by the door of the nursery, looking over at us. He doesn't realise I've seen him and the others don't realise he's there, but all he does is smile at the four…no, five of us and quietly walks away so he doesn't disturb our brotherly moment.

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><p><span><em><strong>PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW THIS CHAPTER - I KNOW IT'S ONLY THE PROLOGUE BUT AS IT IS MY FIRST PUBLISHED STORY I WOULD BE REALLY GRATEFUL FOR A LITTLE FEEDBACK ON WHAT YOU THINK AND WHETHER YOUR INTERESTED IN WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT! :) XX<strong>_

_**FYI - I HAVE ALREADY WRITTEN A FEW CHAPTERS TO THIS AND CHAPTER 1 IS BASED 14 YEARS INTO THE FUTURE AND THEN THE STORY WILL CARRY ON FROM THERE, BUT I'M ONLY GOING TO CONTINUE IF I KNOW A GENERAL AUDIENCE LIKES WHAT'S HERE! :) XX**_


	2. Chapter 1 - Home not-so-sweet Home

_**THANK YOU FOR YOUR LOVELY COMMENTS GUYS. i'M REALLY GLAD YOU LIKE IT SO FAR AND ARE LOOKING FORWARD TO MORE. PLEASE CONTINUE TO REVIEW MY CHAPTERS SO I KNOW IF THE STORY'S STILL IN YOUR FAVOUR!**_

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><p><strong>(14 years later) Alan's POV<strong>

I lay unusually quiet in my bed at Wharton's Academy for Boys as my best friend Fermat rushes around packing his things. Its summer now and everyone's leaving to go home with their families – not that that's a good thing for me. The last time I was home in Spring break my brothers were constantly teasing me everyday and I probably had three arguments within three days of the two weeks with dad, which lead to more teasing and _even_ more disapproving looks from my brothers. Seriously, I just wish they'd back off. Though, a few days after I got back the Hood and his followers invaded the Island as you all know. Brains was nearly killed twice, then Onaha and Kyrano three times in total, then Tin Tin and Fermat both five times each, then Parker twice, then Lady Penelope three times, and finally me seven times. So for the rest of Spring Break, instead of teasing me – which would have been a lot worse as John had to stay on Earth for a while – they mollycoddled me a lot.

"C-come on-n Alan, y-you n-ne-need to s-s-s-start p-packing your s-st-things or you're g-going to b-be late." Fermat says for the ten-millionth time this morning. I sigh in annoyance – not at the fact that Fermat has said that too many times this morning, but at the fact that in a few hours I'm going to be home with my irritating family. My sigh turns into a groan as I lazily get up and out of bed. Within half an hour my bag is packed and laid along side Fermat's.

We make our way to reception to sit and wait for whoever it is that's picking us up this time. Dad said he would…promised even – but if anyone should know, it's me, that Dad cares more for the 'family business' than his youngest son. Seconds later the sliding doors slide open and a blonde woman wearing all pink walks in. She stops around half way into the reception and grins at them.

"Hello boys." She says.

"Hello Lady Penelope." Fermat greets, also grinning, as I answer with a weak 'hi' – dad didn't come...I didn't think he would!

"Alan, Fermat…your fathers have been unexpectedly detained at this minute so they asked me to come and pick you up for them." Lady Penelope says. "Is that alright?"

"Yeah." They both say, my face lighting up at the news of flying home with good friends of the family. As we walked outside I see Parker standing by the car with a group of Wharton's students standing around it or walking past, all staring in awe and some even jealousy.

"Hi Parker." Fermat greets excitedly.

"G'mornin' mister 'ackenbacker." Parker replies, lightly touching the tip of his hat in greeting. He then turns towards me.

"Hello Nosey." I say with slightly less enthusiasm as my energetic friend.

"Come now, Mister Tracy…why so glum?" He asks, lightly grinning at me. I smile back and just say I'm tied – which is a complete and utter lie. Oh, why do I have to go back to the Island? It doesn't even feel like my real home anymore – school does!

**(1 hour, 15 minutes later)**

"We're approaching Tracy Island. You should see her in two minutes, Milady." Parker informs Lady P, me and Fermat, cheerfully. My mood deflates at the news. "And it appears as though we have some company." We all look out of the windows to see Thunderbird 1, Thunderbird 2 and Thunderbird 3 – as Thunderbird 5 is still under maintenance and John isn't going back up for another year – flying beside FAB 1.

Despite my bad mood, I do smile and wave back at my bothers and dad as I see them greet me; Scott and Gordon are in Tracy 1, Dad is in Tracy 2 and John and Virgil are in Tracy 3. I then look on as I see John and Virgil communicating with Scott and Gordon. Soon after, their 'birds' speed off and I realise they're racing back to the Island. My heart thuds in my chest as I'm a-wash with horrible feelings as I watch my brothers having fun. I'm always the brother who's left behind…and it seems not even my thunderbird's badge can change that.

Nearly ten minutes later, we're walking through the house to the kitchen where I can hear my brothers talking and laughing about their latest mission. I feel tears prick the corners of my eyes at the obvious inability for me to join in with their conversation, but I shake my head and force the tears back just as we enter the kitchen diner. I see my brothers lounging around the dinner table, chatting and laughing happily like normal brothers do – they never talk to me like that...they're always harassing me instead.

"Hey, the Sprout's back." Virgil says as he's the first to spot me. I quickly wipe the downcast expression from my face, replacing it with what hopefully comes off as a delighted smile – a smile good enough to tell them it's good to see them and I'm glad to be here, when – instead – I'm dreading every second. However, I realise I didn't quite pull it off as my irritatingly most observant brother looks at me in concern, one eyebrow raised in question. Giving a shaky smile to my older carbon copy, I turn from having my sole attention on John to having my attention on all four of my brothers.

"You miss us, Alan?" Scott teases me, wrapping an arm around me as he gives me a little-too-hard-for-comfort noogie on the top of my head. I let him have his way knowing Scott is a lot stronger than me – which makes sense as he's also fifteen years older than me and at least eight inches taller – in fact, all four of my brothers are around 6 to 8 inches taller than me, while I'm stuck at a puny 5'7; not so small for a girl, but rather small for a 15 year old guy. Finally releasing me, I smile up at my brothers as I answer with a half-hearted 'yeah' – thankfully they don't appear to notice my downcast mood. The four of them then go back to talking about the rescue – I saw it last night in the games room at Wharton's; they were out for at least nine hours from 5 yesterday evening to 2 this morning. They then stayed on Lady P's property for a short rest before flying home later this morning.

"Where's dad?" I ask, half unintentionally and half accidentally cutting my brothers off from their conversation. I feel my cheeks flush with heat as their attention turns to me, though that was even wasted effort as I realise just because they're looking at me does not mean they're actually concentrating on me – because they're not.

"He's in the office sorting things out after the rescue." Virgil tells me; the middle Tracy, however, is brought back to the previous conversation as the mention of Dad clearly reminds Gordon of something funny in the rescue as the four of them laugh at whatever Gordon says.

"What about Tintin?" I ask, cutting them off again.

"We don't know, Alan...seriously, you're only just back and already pounding on us with questions. Give us a break, kid." Scott says; I can easily hear the slight irritation in his tone of voice. I see the others looking at me in irritation as well, as I quickly duck my head when I feel tears threaten to show. First they don't give me a proper greeting after three and a half months at Wharton's and now they snap at a simple question I ask – I'm barely back and they're already shutting me out.

"Sorry – I'll just go and unpack." I say as I walk away from them. I walk up the steps to the main house before I hear my name called. I slowly turn around to face Scott and find them all looking at me – I don't fail to see the grins still across their faces from the conversation I interrupted.

"Don't be late for dinner – we don't want to have to hear an argument between you and dad on your first day back." Scott tells be sternly. I feel my heart deflate as I realise he isn't about to give the apology I wanted – I shouldn't be surprised, but it's still a blow to the heart. I nod my head and turn to leave when I hear Gordon speak.

"Yeah Alan – we actually want a couple of weeks where we don't have to put up with your sulking all the time." The other three laugh at his comment. "Do us a favour and be a good little boy for once in your life." I mutter a quiet 'sure' as I hear my brothers turn back to their previous conversation As soon as I'm at my room I only just hold myself from slamming the door shut when I realise that will get a bad reaction from my brothers and father. Closing the door softly behind me, I walk as calmly as possible to my bed and flop down on the duvet covers, finally allow the tears to break free.

I have no idea how long I've been lying here, having no energy to move, but I can tell it's been a while as I subconsciously feel the crusty dried tears staining my cheeks as well as the intense heat coming from my duvet as it grows as warm as my body temperature. Turning to glance at my bedroom clock, I sigh in relief when I see it's only 4:43 and I haven't already missed it – this episode that occurs throughout the summer season is the most spectacular and calming thing I have ever seen, and I only just discovered it last spring when they first came in...I hope they'll come back.

Getting up from my bed, I stretch out my aching muscles as I shrug off my jacket – no wonder why I felt so hot. My first thought is to quickly leave out through the main villa; down various hallways, through the kitchen/diner/living room, past the pools and down to the beach when, thinking about it, I really don't want to come across my brothers or father. Taking my phone from my nightstand, I quickly text Tintin so she knows where I am and can tell Onaha if I'm late for dinner.

_Hey Tin Going down to beach. Please tell Onaha if I'm late and that I apologise!? - A -_

Putting my phone in my jeans pocket, I go over to my balcony and start the climb down to the ground outside. Not only is this a way for me to boost my strength, but it also means I can dodge family – my brothers in particular. As I jump the last meter to the ground and start walking to my beach, I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket indicating I have a message. Taking hold of my phone to read the message I smile at what it says, very grateful to my recent girlfriend:

_No problem, Alan. Have fun! Tell me what you see later! __- T -_

Oh, I got lucky with Tintin – she's an amazing, wonderful and kind person and she, as well as Fermat, is always there for me when I'm upset after teasing from my brothers or arguing with dad. With that in mind, I continue my trek down to the beach as I hope I haven't already missing the show.


	3. Chapter 2 - Shocking Revelations

_**THANK YOU SO, SO, SO MUCH FOR ALL THE AMAZING REVIEWS PEOPLE AND I'M SO SORRY IT TOOK ME A MONTH-ISH TO UPDATE AGAIN (I TOLD MYSELF I WOULD BE QUICKER THAN THAT)! :) xx**_

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><p><strong>Tintin's POV<strong>

Smiling to myself, I enter the kitchen/diner just as I send a reply to Alan ensuring him I have everything sorted. I completely understand my boyfriends need to be by himself for a while each day – I can't even begin to imagine what it must be like having four much older brothers to live up to, not to mention their constant teasing Alan, putting him down in everything he does. The way the five older Tracy's – and, yes, that does include Mr Tracy – treat Alan continues to anger me every time I witness it or comfort Alan in the aftermath. I just don't understand how they can subject to such cruelty to a member of their family.

Wiping those thoughts from my mind, I know it will do no good to brood over the issues with Alan and the rest of his family, knowing I will get nothing out of it at this moment in time. I realise changing my line of thoughts is also beneficial as the Alan's four elder brothers are already standing around the dinner table chatting and messing around – behaving like brothers. I feel my heart drop as I know Alan hasn't been like that around his brothers in well over a year – I would have thought the incident with the Hood would have changed that, however it hasn't.

"Tintin – can you please lay the cutlery and food out on the table please?" My mother asks. Smiling and nodding my head, I gladly assist my mum in the final preparations of dinner, subtly mouthing 'beach' to her as I take some plates off her hands. She immediately catches my meaning as she nods her head in understanding, lightly smiling. I continue to assist my mum, happy to have something put my mind off of the Tracy's for a short while. That is, until Mr Tracy makes an entrance.

"Boys – you good after that last rescue?" Jeff Tracy asks his four sons as he enters the room. I continue with preparing dinner, hoping Alan won't be mentioned in any negative way – stupid thinking really...the Tracy's are always seeming to speak negatively of the youngest son since longer than I can even care to remember.

"Yeah – that rescue was one of the harder ones, but we pulled through." John answers. As I lay the final plates down, everyone comes to the table to start dinner, Fermat and Brains having just walked in the room on time. Considering the obvious missing person proved by the empty chair, I'm surprised Alan hasn't been mentioned yet, though thankful all the same. I start to space out everything as I remain in my own thoughts; however, what Mr Tracy says grabs my immediate attention.

"Boys, where's your brother." I can't believe it. He hasn't even greeted his youngest son – welcomed him home from Wharton's – and the first thing Mr Tracy does is speak negatively of him...there's no mistaking his negative thoughts about Alan by the tone of his voice.

"Oh – I think he's..." Fermat begins. I cut him off quickly, before he gives away where Alan is.

"Fermat!" I snap rather loudly. The Tracy's attention turns solely to me – my parents and Mr Hackenbacker already know where Alan is and what he's doing; Alan told them after telling myself and Fermat of his discovery, so they're aware he may not be available at this time each day throughout the summer season. Before the tension increases anymore, mum speaks up to Alan's defence.

"He's busy, Mr Tracy, so I saved his dinner until later." She says. I'm hopeful Mr Tracy will just drop the subject there and then, however – in reality – I know that's never going to happen. I can clearly see the rage evident on the Tracy patriarch's face as he begins to stand.

"No, Onaha – Alan _will_ come down to dinner like the rest of us. He'll get no special treatment from me." Feeling my rage readying to explode, I intervene before Mr Tracy has any chance of walking off.

"My Tracy..." I snap. I immediately have his attention as well as Alan's brothers as they stare at me in shock. "I think my mother just told you Alan's busy." I say – I'm glad my parents know how much anger I've been holding in each day to let me continue without scolding my tone of voice directed to an adult. "I would advise you to sit down and continue with your meal. Alan will be back later to eat his own dinner and, god-damit, will refuse to let anyone disturb him at the moment." I say, my voice rising louder every second.

"Tintin..." Mr Tracy starts, the shock evident in his voice, "I understand you would want to defend Alan, for he is a good friend of yours, but he will not go and willingly miss meals in my home under my watch." I feel my rage at Alan's father burn harder than ever as I stand up from where I'm seated.

"That's just it Mr Tracy. You don't understand at all. None of you do." I say, now talking to the whole Tracy family. "How long is it going to take for you to realise how much space Alan needs from you? Christ, he dreads coming home every holiday because he knows he has to face you." I spit at them, angrily. Ignoring their shocked expressions, I continue speaking.

"You're continuously cruel to Alan every day you see him; the way you, Mr Tracy, argue with him all the time when most of the time he's completely innocent. And the way you, his older brothers who he's, for some reason, hero-worshiped every second of his life ever since he was a little boy, are just so mercilessly horrid to him as you tease him every chance you get. You have no idea how much he wants to be _your brother_, how much he wants to have fun with you, learn from you, and yet you're constantly pushing him further and further away every chance you get. He's miserable, he hates coming home every holiday – Christ, I even think he now considers Wharton's his home – and he's scared of you. He's scared, one day, you'll hate him for who he is and disown him, ignore him – that would kill him more than anything and you don't even realise it." As soon as I'm finished, I give one final look to each Tracy before I leave the room, no longer caring about my dinner.

**Fermat's POV**

I watch quietly as the five eldest Tracy's sit, or stand in Mr Tracy's case, in absolute shock at Tintin's outburst. Though I'm not surprised by the way she spoke, in such anger and aggression, I'm struggling to hide a little of the shock myself. Tintin has been furious by the way Alan is so horribly treated all the time that I'm surprised she held from screaming at my best friend's family for this long. I'm not going to say I think their treatment towards Alan is justifiable, because it's not, but because we both go to Wharton's and I've seen Alan's mental and physical pain first hand – having to be there for him on many occasion – I've learnt to control my anger a little; besides, I know Tintin would have done a better job at defending Alan than me any day, and a few seconds ago only proves that point wholeheartedly.

"S-she's right yo-you kno-know." I say, finally breaking from my thoughts. I only just hold back from flinching as all five Tracy's turn to face me. "A-and I can te-tell you she's be-been hol-hol-stopping herself f-fr-from saying th-that for mo-months." As I say this, my dad and Tintin's parents all get up to leave, taking their food with them. Not long after, Mr Tracy shakes himself from his stupor and leaves the room as well, possibly heading towards his office.

"That...that's not true is it, Fermat?" John asks me. I swallow, nervously, as I place my knife and fork on my plate, pushing it and the mat away from me. Alan's brothers don't falter looking at me as the wait for me to say something. I almost feel sorry for them – the desperation and grief is clear in their eyes...though I will emphasise the _almost_.

"Tell m-me – h-how did y-you gr-gre-gr-welcome Alan when h-he g-got home fr-from Wha-Wharton's?" I ask. "D-did you say 'we-welcome h-home'? Did y-you gr-gre-welcome him w-with hugs? D-did y-you ask him h-how sc-sc-Wharton's was; h-how h-his wo-work is go-going?" I watch as the brother's shift uncomfortably as I dish out each individual question. "Or d-did you as-ask hi-him whe-ether he mis-missed _you_ a-and then ig-ignore him whilst y-you la-laugh about yo-you're mo-ost rec-rec...y-you're last res-rescue, com-completely ignoring Al-Alan?" Their eyes widen in horror as I see they now understand my point.

"But...we love Alan. We care for him so much - I mean, surely he knows that?" Gordon asks, desperation evident in his voice. To their added horror I shake my head in denial to Gordon's comment.

"A-Alan un-under-knows w-well enough the-that there i-is love in ev-every fam-family unit, but h-he doe-doesn't think y-you lo-love him f-for who h-_he_ is." I explain.

It's completely true. I've known, literally forever, how much Alan adores his family; he worries over their well-being when they're on a rescue, feels guilty if he says something remotely horrible to any of them and even the fact that he's obviously hurt whenever the teasing grows out of hand and when he argues with his father. He doesn't feel as though his family trust him, or have faith in him, which is the worst thing for anyone with regards to their parents or/and siblings. However, Alan has never felt as though his family love him back – I mean, sure enough, it was clear when we were kids that the brothers would always worry about Alan's well-being, but it's as if they show him no emotion whatsoever anymore which is heartbreaking enough to witness.

"Fermat, where is he?" Scott asks after a moment of silence. I shake my head as I'm about to tell them I won't betray my best friends trust when Scott cuts me off. "Please, Fermat. I just want to talk to him. I want to know his view on his place within this family. We all do." He finishes.

Contemplating what Scott said, I finally come to a decision. I know his brothers are the last people Alan wants to see right now, but the four older Tracy's look genuinely regretful, sad and...lost! I just hope I don't harm our friendship because of this.

"I-I'll tell you, b-but..." I quickly say as I see their hopeful expressions, "I wa-want y-you to sw-swear you w-won't s-st-start a-an argue-argue-fight. H-he's so-somewhere wh-where h-he normally go-goes, h-how-however with h-his discovery – w-which y-you ca-can wi-witness once y-you're there – h-he's f-found i-it a lo-lot more tra-tranquil an-and pea-peaceful." With their confused expressions I finally tell them where he is.

"H-he's at th-the beach."


End file.
